My name is Rushtom Ilhahi and I have
killed a man….. I did and I feel no remorse of doing it. I really don’t.
I am 29 years old and have led a good life. There was nothing in my life which
would make me kill somebody, except for the mosquitoes or an odd rat which
entered my house some days. As I said I
have led a good life, at least till the start of this year I have. I have done
an MBA from one of the best business schools in the country and have been
working for one of the best investment
banks in the world from the last 4 years. After completing my MBA 6 years ago,
I was placed with a auditing firm, I worked there for 2 years and switched to
work in investment banking 4 years ago. I have done really well here and have 3
promotions in 4 years to boast of. I have a very good salary to take home at
the end of the month. It is on the basis of this salary that I bought this
house that we now live in. The house is like a country house. We have a highway
which goes right in front of our house. The highway makes it possible for us to
get to the city everyday. We work in the city, so we have to go to the office
every morning. But then, it is good to come back home in the evenings. The cool
country air makes you feel so relieved after a hectic day at office. Did I
forget to mention, I got married 2 years ago.
I married Shazia, I saw her for the first time on my first day at
the current workplace. There she was sitting pretty at the reception desk. I
was mesmerized by the look in her eyes . I can still remember the way she
looked at me for the first time. Her eyes are brown in color, not the regular
brown, a bit on the lighter side. She had looked at me and asked how she could
help me. I told her that I was employed there. Then it was all uphill from
there. We started talking, going out for coffee, dinners. We also started going
out for movies. She told me she came from a conservative family and her parents
wouldn’t allow her to marry anybody other than somebody chosen by her father.
But, then to our surprise they agreed. We got married within a year. A dream
job, a beautiful wife, life was like a fairy tale.
I got promoted a few months after my marriage, the position required
me to travel a lot to meet clients across the country. I did not want to take
up the offer, but then Shazia asked me to, she said the extra money I would be
getting, would be very useful when we planned to have kids. Even though I would be away from home most of
the times I agreed. Everything was good for the few years after that. We had
extra money, I would take Shazia out for
dinner every weekend, I would also take her along with me if her job permitted
her the leaves.
Last month, I returned from the trip and I found Rahim in our house.
Rahim worked in the company as an accountant. He told me that Shazia needed
some help with moving the furniture so he had come down to help her. But then I
could see that none of the furniture had been moved. Shazia told me that they
were just about to do so, but then since I am home now, Rahim could leave. I
had my doubts, but then I did not say anything, even when Shazia seemed lost on
which furniture to move where. I decided to ask people in the company. I asked
my best friend Abbas to keep a check on Rahim.
Two weeks ago, Abbas called me and told me that he found out that
Rahim used to look into my schedules a lot. He had tracked Rahim to my house
more than once in a week. Some furniture shifting it was. I decided to try the
direct approach. I returned from my trip, I went home and asked Shazia about
it. She looked shocked. I don’t know what shocked her more, me asking her the
question, or me knowing about Rahim’s trips to my house. She said she could not
believe what I was talking about , but then when confronted with the evidences
she finally relented. She said I was not there when she needed me. She said she
did not have feelings for me any more. She blamed me for everything. By the
time the clock stuck 10 that night she had packed her bags and left. I could
not believe what had happened. I did not know what to do, where had I gone
wrong. I had done everything I could for her, what more could I do. I agree I
was not at home most of the times, but then I was working for her , our kids,
for our family to have a better future. I decided to sleep on it and call her
the next day. I woke up early the next morning and called her. She just did not
pick my calls. At 9 am a man picked up my call and told me that she did not
want to talk to me and that the divorce papers would reach me at the earliest.
Rahim. I thought she had gone to her parents house, but she had gone to Rahim
instead, I felt so ridiculed, so small, so broken. This is what I get for my
unconditional love. I felt anger rising through my veins, at the same time I
was saddened by what had happened. How did I end up in this mess. How did my
life turn upside down. Fairy tales don’t last for a long time.
I skipped work that day. I did not know how I could face all the
people in the office. Abbas called me and asked me about it. I told me what had
happened. He said both Shazia and Rahim had reported to work, and chit chatting
as if nothing had happened. He told me he would confront them. I asked him not
to. What was the point in confronting. If my wife did not want to be with me,
if she was not happy, what good will come out of confronting them. I still felt
angry, angry at myself for letting that happen, angry at Rahim for taking my
wife away from me. That is when the plan came in mind, and I decided to murder
a man for the first time in my life.
I called up the hotel to confirm. Early the next morning, I shaved ,
took a bath, put on my best clothes, and left my house. I sat in my car and
drove on highway 29, towards the city. I entered the city in 15 minutes, it was
still early in the morning, so traffic was very few on the streets. I drove
directly to the hotel. Checked at the reception. Room number 2011 the lady
sitting at the desk told me. Looking at her reminded me of Shazia, her eyes,
her looks, the way she smiled. I smiled nostalgically and walked up the stairs.
I reached room number 2011, it was on the second floor. I opened the door to
the room, closed it silently. My hands were shivering, after all I was going to
kill somebody for the first time. I thought for a moment, and walked towards
the bathroom. The bathroom door was slightly open, I could see a mirror inside
the bathroom. I could see him looking
back at me, his eyes were looking sad. I wondered why, is it because he knew I
had come to kill him.
I stepped into the bathroom, looked at the man once again. I removed
the gun from my coat pocket, aimed at his head and shot him.
“ Quite a writer”, said
circle inspector Rafiq Khan looking at his subordinate.
“ Ya it is the most elaborate suicide note I have seen in years” his
subordinate replied.
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